No matter what job you do, it’s never easy leaving your children
/Real Stories From VVIP Corporate Flight Attendant Moms: Don’t think it can’t be done!
No matter what job you do, it’s never easy leaving your children. As a Corporate Flight Attendant there has been many times when I personally felt it was difficult, and when I was overwhelmed it felt impossible! As a parent, not everyday is easy. If you are a working mother you know first hand how challenging it can be. Juggling baseball practice and other extracurricular activities prove hard enough, let alone juggling birthdays, holidays, and social events. I personally have watched many women managing families and careers and secretly hoped that would be me, that I could be that woman one day seamlessly living as both mother and working woman. Eventually I realized, I was that woman, perhaps not living her life so seamlessly but I was living life happily, and fulfilled!
There are moments when you question yourself and your choices, and there are moments when you feel scared and uncertain. Everyday that goes by you convince yourself that what you are doing is for the overall benefit of your family, and every ounce of your being hopes that your sacrifice isn’t in vain. I know now that it isn’t. In fact I think my family and my children are even better off because I work and because I work as a Corporate Flight Attendant.
Our lives are different, of course! They are our own. First thing I had to do was to remind myself I wanted to march to the beat of my own drum. Second, that I needed to fulfill my own dreams in order to be an example to my children and show them that their dreams are important, that they matter, and that they can achieve them no matter how difficult it may seem. With those two things in mind I continued to strive everyday and haven’t stopped since. I am successfully raising two children, a son who is 14, and a daughter that is 5 months.
If becoming a Corporate Flight Attendant is your dream, and so is having a family I am here to tell you that you can do both and be happy. Many people would criticize that statement and say, “You’re glamorizing it”, or “You’re making it look easier than it is without sharing the cold, hard ugly truths. Well, here are some of those truths. I spoke to other Corporate Flight Attendant’s, who are also mothers. They shared some of their mommy monologues and insight and here is what they had to say:
Keysha Singh, her story and “how she does it”!
Being a woman in aviation is hard, but when others discover you are a presence in this industry, they commend you. However when you’re a mother and in aviation, people seem to be almost distraught by it. A plethora of questions and emotions spill out. Almost always, I politely smile and say something along the lines of “I make it work”, but I rarely have the opportunity to fully and honestly answer that question of “How do you do it?” Today, I would love to share that answer with you.
Let’s run back a bit. My name is Keysha and I am a corporate flight attendant. I fly from city to city and country to country anywhere from 10-22 days a month. I have gone through two passports in the last 3 years, filling pages with a multitude of visas. I am also a proud mom. I have 3 beautiful children. My oldest is my nephew, he is 14. My daughter is 9 and my little guy is a mere 4 years old. I am busy, but so blessed!
I am going to fill you in on a little secret, I have a strong support system! When I am flying, my mother mainly cares for the kids, but I have a sister who is very involved as well, and my kids’ dad is very active with them. You see my 2 boys are special needs, and both of them on the spectrum. My oldest is legally blind and my youngest is hearing impaired, so we were never meant to do the “cookie cutter” lifestyle thing. We home school, do therapies, take field trips, go on vacations and enjoy each other’s company. This is how I make it work! Balance. While I’m home, the family has my undivided attention anywhere from 8-20 days straight! We take that time to go exploring our local town to find hidden beach spots, ride our bikes together, check out museums, visit the oceanographic center, go to sea turtle releases and beach clean ups (our family is very passionate about environmental protection and conservation). Do you see the balance there? Sure, I’ll miss some birthdays and Christmas morning is often through FaceTime, but I do this for them. With my work, I can afford to keep my mom home with them and give them the best of myself when I am with them. I may not always be physically home but I am always present and making memories with them.
“Focusing on your dreams isn’t selfish, rather it will teach your children invaluable lessons in perseverance and determination. It will strengthen character qualities that can’t be learned in school or taught to them by anyone else.” Keysha Singh
I am very involved with my family but I also take time for myself. It’s very important to book a pedicure with my mom, have game night with my friends, and to just take a day to sleep in. I work hard and I have earned my time to decompress and relax. I want to encourage every mother whose dreams are to travel. You CAN do it! Focusing on your dreams isn’t selfish, rather it will teach your children invaluable lessons in perseverance and determination. It will strengthen character qualities that can’t be learned in school or taught to them by anyone else. We are resilient, strong, beautiful and courageous. With a solid support system as the backbone, I promise that you will go as far as you strive.
Lynne Obaldia, “Have a thorough plan in place, and a backup for that plan too!”
I struggled for years over feeling immense guilt for pursuing a career that keeps me away from my family. The guilt only grew each time another person asked “Why did you choose to become a Flight Attendant and be away from your kids?” “I don’t know how you do it.” I could always hear the judgment in their voices. But it was never as loud as the judgement I’ve brought upon myself for it, turning me into my own worst critic.
I belong in the sky. Of that, there is no question. But being a single mother to three girls (now 22, 14, and 12), put my dream of soaring the sky on hold for some time. Millions of working women (myself included) face exceedingly difficult life circumstances. Some are single mothers; Many cope with a work life in which good day care is either unavailable or very expensive; school schedules do not match work schedules; lack of family members or support system. I wanted to be a constant presence in their early development, so I waited and when my youngest turned 8, I decided to give it a shot. We spoke about the pros and cons. They knew it was a lifelong dream of mine and they are my biggest supporters, but I often wonder if they support me solely because they know how much it means to me, while neglecting their own feelings about the sacrifices they’ve made in order for me to pursue it. Was I being selfish by following a dream that kept me away from them? They miss me so much while I'm gone! Holidays are hit or miss for us. I’ve missed birthdays, graduations, dance recitals. I have failed to be present at times they’ve been sick and wanted to be nurtured. I’ve even missed a few “first times” and steppingstones in their lives.
My kids do spend a lot of time alone. In doing so they’ve become very independent and don't need me for much nowadays. They always try to handle things on their own, which is bittersweet for me. I love their independence but also miss them needing me. Our family dynamics are far from ordinary, but my girls are undeniably happy, well rounded children. We make an incredible team and they are as proud of me as I am of them! By pursuing my dream against all the odds, I’ve taught them to believe in themselves. To believe that they can achieve anything they set their minds to. To aspire to be women who wake up and truly love what she does for a living. To live an intensely happy and fulfilled life regardless of what that looks like to others.
I’ve come to realize that I was being too hard on myself. Yes! I go away for weeks at a time, but now I get the opportunity to also be home for weeks at a time. Something my old office job did not allow me to do. Becoming a Corporate Flight Attendant allows me the opportunity to spend more quality time at home and still have a professional career. In my family, we've given new meaning to the phrase "Quality over Quantity". We really look forward to the time I am home. While I’m gone the girls write down ideas of things we can do together when I return. The day after I arrive, we have a “family meeting” where we sit down and catch up on things, we plan our time together, and usually bum it on the couch with takeout and Netflix until we fall asleep. As big as they are now, there is still no better feeling than to have those beautiful (heavy) heads on my lap. When I'm home I try very hard to stick to a routine and schedule when it comes to chores and errands, so that we can spend more time together as a family.
When I'm not going to be home on a specific holiday we schedule our own holiday celebration date. I missed Thanksgiving and spent my birthday alone on the road last year. When I returned, 12 days later, we had our own Thanksgiving dinner and birthday celebration. If I am away during Christmas, they do not open their gifts until we have a video call early on Christmas morning. Our holiday celebrations may be on sporadic dates, but to us, they remain just as special.
“I struggled for years over feeling immense guilt for pursuing a career that keeps me away from my family..” Lynne Obaldia
My advise to FA moms is:
- Ignore the pressure society puts on us working moms to be "super women" and get it all right, all of the time according to their definition of good parenting. We may not be home to sit down for dinner at 5pm with our kids everyday and that is OK! You're doing a great job.
- Have a strong support system in place. Everything from cleaning services, Nanny's or family members that assist with childcare, to a legal guardian available and willing to assist during your absence with any legal or medical issues.
- Get familiar and friendly with digital communication outlets. Video calls, money transferring applications, electronic signatures, delivery services. They all become life savers at one point or another.
- Have a thorough plan in place (and backup for that plan too) so that you can successfully execute your duties as a Corporate Flight Attendant, meet your client's and employer's expectations while keeping your own peace of mind and still being a phenomenal mom!
Sharon Rose, “It’s double the work, triple the organization yet tenfold the fun!”
Home is where the heart is. Be it the sky or people you hold close in your heart. That long metal tube has been my office for so many years and also my home away from home.
It all started with a dream that eventually came into reality. The love for travel opened a desire for me to join an international award winning 5 star carrier in Doha, Qatar. From working in economy to eventually leading a team of up to 16 crew members as a Cabin Services Director for 8 years harnessed and set a base for what an excellent in-flight service should be.
So why this job? Well, travel is the best teacher. It’s an eye opener for culture, history, gastronomy, adventure, and a lot more! Not only that, it’s a paid trip to experience all this but also an opportunity to apply myself effectively. Onboard, I’m a security officer, a first aider, a chef, a sommelier and a magician at most! I can’t find myself doing any other job but this.
“Once the trip is completed- rewards come in full!” Sharon Rose
From commercial, I transitioned to business aviation through a scholarship for Women in Corporate Aviation in 2011. My extensive experience in leading a team, flying with royalties and VVIPs, so as my solid aviation background and the vast demand in the industry led to the birth of StellarRose Services. It is in-flight management solutions focused but also a community of experienced and new entry flight attendants in Europe, Asia and the Middle East. It is also during this period where I started a family and keeping the right balance is my biggest challenge. It’s double the work, triple the organization yet tenfold the fun!
“I call the time being away from home on a trip paid mommy days off” Sharon Rose
